Lying comes more easily to some people than others. For those with sharp social skills, deception can look effortless, even convincing. They can tell a story without stumbling, keep steady eye contact, and appear sincere enough to win trust.
Psychologist Robert Feldman’s research shows that this talent often shows up early. Adolescents with higher social competence were better at fooling adults with their lies. Leadership scholar Ronald E. Riggio, PhD, adds that while lying can seem like a powerful tool, it carries consequences, especially when used by leaders. Here, we’ll look at how some people lie so effectively, and why relying on it is rarely a good strategy.
How people lie
Skilled liars don’t necessarily tell bigger or more complex stories. Instead, they make their lies sound natural. Their speech tends to be smooth and fast, without the pauses or filler words that might raise suspicion. They often look more approachable, using facial expressions that appear open and positive.
This combination makes them believable, whether they’re telling the truth or not. This is because the performance matches what people expect from someone being sincere.
Another advantage is their ability to create plausible narratives. Socially skilled people are practiced in reading situations, so the stories they invent often fit the context better than those of less polished communicators. Their lies simply make more sense, flow more easily, and leave fewer gaps for listeners to question, which lowers the chance of being caught.
This is why lies from a confident coworker, a charming friend, or even a persuasive public figure can feel more convincing. The delivery carries as much weight as the content and, in some cases, it can be enough to outweigh the listener’s doubts.
More on lies and liars
The ethical problem is clear. Deception may work in the short term, but it risks damaging trust over time. Even lies meant to protect others—like saying someone’s bad haircut looks great—can eventually be seen as disingenuous. Success at lying can also be habit-forming, creating a pattern where dishonesty becomes the default response to uncomfortable situations.
History and politics offer plenty of examples. Former President Bill Clinton’s denial of his affair with Monica Lewinsky is one of the most cited. Riggio points out that his smooth-talking persona may have made him confident in using deception, but the fallout—his impeachment—shows how costly a lie can become.
Leaders face this dilemma often. Should they withhold information, soften the truth, or be completely transparent? While lying might protect them in the moment, it erodes credibility when exposed. Integrity and honesty consistently rank among the top qualities people want in leaders. Theories such as authentic leadership and virtuous leadership highlight openness as a core principle. Followers don’t just value honesty, they expect it.
Riggio argues that in leadership, and in life, honesty is the better policy. Lies may buy time, but they rarely buy respect. Trust, once lost, is difficult to regain. The skill of lying may demonstrate social sharpness, but choosing when—and if—you use it reveals character.
