Neither cooking nor gift-giving: the best habits for grandparents to build lasting bonds with grandkids

We often assume that the connection between grandparents and grandkids is forged through homemade cookies, birthday checks, or thoughtful presents. However,  truly meaningful bonds emerge from subtle, consistent habits that make children feel seen, secure, and deeply valued.

Here, we’ll explore six practices that grandparents employ to nurture lifelong connections with their grandkids. These emphasize emotional presence and shared experiences that endure well beyond childhood. Let’s get to it.

Grandparents and grandkids: the habits that forge lifelong connections

Grandparents who cultivate unshakable relationships with their grandchildren concentrate on thoughtful, intentional habits that foster intergenerational bonding, boost self-esteem, and promote emotional intelligence.

Dedicated time and attention

Children quickly notice when adults seem distracted. When grandparents silence their phones, set aside chores, and engage fully during visits, they send a powerful message: “You matter to me”. This thoughtful, undivided attention boosts a child’s self-worth more than any material object ever could.

Normalize imperfection

Grandparents frequently become trusted confidants because they don’t expect perfection. Sharing personal stories about their own past mistakes, such as “I failed my driving test twice”, or laughing together over spilled milk while baking, teaches children that errors don’t define them. This openness builds resilience and fosters trust.

Turn downtime into rituals

Children often recall quiet, regular moments—like weekly gardening, sorting through cherished family photos, or sharing stories—with far greater clarity than occasional, grand gifts. These simple rituals create a sense of predictability, foster a shared family history, and establish traditions that become treasured memories.

Ask more profound questions

Rather than sticking to surface-level topics, like “How’s school?”, ask unexpected, playful questions such as “Would you rather have a pet dragon or a robot best friend?” or “What is something adults don’t understand about your generation?” These thoughtful prompts spark deeper conversations, encourage creative thinking, and underscore a genuine interest in the child’s interior world.

Share skills, not just stories

Teaching a craft—whether it is whittling wood, knitting, or fixing bikes—instills teamwork and pride in both generations. When a grandmother teaches her granddaughter how to sew a quilt, she is not merely passing down a practical skill; she is also imparting life lessons in patience, problem-solving, and the joy that comes from creating something together.

Advocate for their interests, even the quirky ones

When a 10-year-old becomes fascinated with origami or immerses themselves in a niche video game, engage with these passions by learning how to fold cranes or playing the game alongside them. This validates the child’s individuality and unique interests. Such unconditional support not only fosters secure identities but also encourages creativity, resilience, and self-expression, all essential components of positive youth development.

Lasting bonds between grandparents and grandchildren are not defined by big gestures or constant entertainment. They grow from an intentional, mindful presence, an authentic acceptance of children as they are, and a shared language crafted through everyday, genuine moments. These small, consistent habits foster security and self-worth in kids and also lay a foundation for empathy, resilience, and lifelong trust in the future.