According to psychologist Rafa Guerrero, overprotecting children during their early years often leads to adults who can’t make decisions, doubt themselves, and feel lost in everyday life.

In this article, we’ll look at how overprotection translates to everyday actions, how it affects a child’s emotional development, and what parents can do instead. We’ll break down Guerrero’s key points and offer practical tips to help raise more confident and independent kids.

Overprotection: the parenting mistake that can make kids insecure

Rafa Guerrero is clear about this: overprotected kids often grow up feeling incapable of making their own decisions. He explains that when parents constantly step in, make decisions, and solve problems for their children, the message the child receives is simple: “you can’t do it”. This may not be what parents intend, but it’s what the child learns.

As adults, these children often struggle to set boundaries, manage frustration, or trust themselves. They become dependent, insecure, and unsure about even small choices. Guerrero warns that this often comes from the parents’ own fear, not the child’s. Parents worry their child might fail, get hurt, or make mistakes, so they step in too early and too often.

This kind of parenting blocks the child’s natural curiosity. Guerrero says kids aren’t naturally afraid—they’re curious. But when adults get in the way, the child learns to second-guess their instincts. Over time, they rely on others to guide them, losing the confidence to act on their own.

It starts with simple things: not letting the child ride a bike, pour water, or climb at the playground. These are small acts, but they matter. When kids aren’t allowed to try, fail, and try again, they miss key emotional lessons, such as how to tolerate frustration, how to trust themselves, and how to recover after mistakes.

What parents can do instead

Overprotection may come from a place of love, but it’s not helping kids in the long run. Guerrero argues that kids need guidance, not control. Here’s what parents can do instead:

Let kids face small challenges: Allow them to make age-appropriate choices and experience the results. That’s how they learn to think and act for themselves.
Stay close, but don’t interfere: Be present without jumping in. Let them try, fail, and try again. Support with words, not actions.
Validate their feelings: When they feel frustrated or upset, acknowledge it. Let them know it’s okay to struggle and that mistakes are part of the learning process.
Avoid linking love to success: Show them that they’re loved simply for who they are, not for their achievements. This builds strong self-esteem.
Give responsibilities: From a young age, let them help at home, make decisions, and solve simple problems.
Watch your own fears: When an issue arises, ask yourself if it’s about them or yourself. Recognizing your insecurities helps you step back when needed and avoid unnecessary arguments.

Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s a necessary part of parenting. Kids grow and develop when they’re allowed to explore and make mistakes in a safe space. Parents don’t need to remove every obstacle; just walk beside them while they learn to navigate life.