Having influence is measured by the meaningful impact you create, not by exerting control over others. Whether at work, in friendships, or during everyday interactions, the right words can encourage people to listen, trust, and act on your ideas. Effective communication builds connections, and when you choose your words carefully, you can inspire positive change and collaboration.
Scott Mautz, a leadership expert and speaker who studied the art of influence, shares six simple yet powerful phrases that can help you gain influence in your conversations and relationships. Let’s take a look at them.
1. “Can I get your advice?”
This phrase is more than a simple request, it’s an invitation that makes people feel valued. When you ask for advice instead of simply demanding help, you show you respect and trust the other person’s insights. By doing so, you encourage the other party to become more engaged and invested in your success. This subtle approach builds rapport and establishes a connection, turning a routine conversation into an opportunity for mutual growth.
2. “Tell me more”
True influence begins with genuine listening. When you invite someone to expand on their thoughts, you signal that you are genuinely interested in their perspective. This phrase encourages deeper dialogue and makes the speaker feel heard and appreciated. By asking follow-up questions, you show empathy and open the door for richer communication.
3. “That’s a good idea you have”
Acknowledging others’ contributions is a powerful way to foster collaboration. When you affirm someone’s idea, you empower them and validate their input. It shifts the focus from taking credit to celebrating collective success. This not only boosts the confidence of the person you are speaking with but also paves the way for a spirit of teamwork and creative problem-solving. It is a subtle reminder that when people feel recognized, they are more likely to engage and share their best ideas.
4. “I’d be happy to help you with that”
Offering sincere assistance shows your willingness to support others without expecting immediate returns. This phrase demonstrates generosity and builds a foundation of trust and reciprocity. By following through on your offers, you establish yourself as a reliable and caring partner in personal and professional endeavors.
5. “Great job! Specifically…”
Detailed praise is far more effective than a generic compliment. When you use this phrase, you let the person know exactly what they did well. This targeted feedback not only reinforces that particular behavior but also motivates them to repeat it. It shows that you are attentive to details and appreciate the effort someone puts into their work.
6. “Will you be a leader on this?”
Inviting someone to take on a leadership role appeals directly to their sense of self and responsibility. Framing it as an invitation rather than an order encourages them to view themselves as leaders. This affirmation of their capability can be motivating, making them more likely to step up and take charge. When people are addressed as leaders, their commitment and enthusiasm tend to increase, solidifying their sense of being in charge.
