Criticism can be quite hard to handle. Some people shut down while others lash out, but those with high emotional intelligence seem to manage these moments with a calm that leaves everyone else wondering how they do it.
Here, we want to highlight a simple phrase: “Thanks for telling me. I’ll think about it“. Simple, neutral, and effective, it keeps emotions in check while showing respect to the other person. Let’s look at why this works so well and how you can use it in different areas of your life.
Why this phrase works when someone criticizes you
When people with strong emotional intelligence hear criticism, they don’t rush to defend themselves or attack back. Instead, they pause. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll think about it” communicates self-control, openness, and a willingness to reflect without giving up ground.
The psychology behind this response goes back to Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence. He describes self-regulation as a key skill: the ability to manage impulses and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.
Most defensive reactions come from the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, which fuels fight-or-flight responses. By pausing and using this phrase, you shift control to the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that handles reasoning and decision-making.
That shift stops an argument from escalating, prevents you from saying something you’ll regret, and shows the other person you’re not dismissive. There’s no sarcasm in the words, just calm acknowledgment. It buys time to reflect later and decide whether the criticism is useful or not. Neuroscientists like Robert Levenson have even linked this kind of physiological regulation to stronger relationships over time.
How to use it in different contexts
This phrase can work in the office, at home, or even online. What matters is how you deliver it: steady tone, no edge, and genuine neutrality. Here are a few ways you can implement it in different scenarios:
- At work: When a manager points out a mistake, reacting defensively can hurt your credibility. Using the phrase shows professionalism and gives you a chance to process the feedback without pressure.
- In relationships: Whether it’s with a partner, sibling, or parent, criticism can quickly spiral into conflict. This response communicates respect and leaves room to revisit the issue later when emotions have cooled.
- On social media: Online criticism often invites heated back-and-forth. Dropping this phrase—when it fits—lets you disengage gracefully while avoiding unnecessary discussions.
- With friends: Disagreements among close friends can sting more than professional feedback. A calm acknowledgment signals that you value the relationship more than winning the argument.
The key is remembering that you’re not agreeing with the criticism just by saying it. You’re giving yourself space to consider it on your own terms. That pause is what people with high emotional intelligence excel at, and it’s what helps them maintain healthier interactions. Handled well, it’s a tool for staying composed, reducing conflict, and protecting relationships. And the best part is that it will help you in different situations.
