They say that couples are for life: however, this is not the luck that many of them have had. Beyond the fact that more and more people are encouraged to listen to what the heart feels and not so much what others say, it has been scientifically studied what is the perfect age difference for a couple to work and transcend all the complications of everyday life. In this way, they can stand the test of time in a healthy and constructive way for both of them, and continue to add to the different daily routines.
Scientists at Emory University in Atlanta conducted a research in which they determined what is the most advisable age difference between couples to be successful, and last in time, although of course, this must be understood in certain contexts and situations. One of the first conclusions of this study is that the greater the age difference between the two people who make up the couple, the less likely it is that the couple will prosper. According to the study, which involved the participation of 3,000 Americans, 95% of those whose partners were 20 years or more apart separated, while the percentage dropped to 39% of those who were only 10 years apart. The percentage continued to drop to 28% for those who were only five years apart. Finally, only 3%, according to this study, separated when the difference was about 12 months.
what is the age difference for a couple to work?
Simply put, the younger the age of the couple, the less likely they are to break the bond. That is to say: whether due to issues of power, self-esteem, or interests, there may be certain moments in which these are translated into reasons for people to separate and this ends up breaking their relationship without finding reasons to continue.
On the other hand, in those couples where there is not such a big age difference, there are agreements, changes that modify the situations that lead to conflicts and more dialogue to avoid complications that end up wearing out the couple without any sense and simply because they live different moments of life.
Tips to avoid noticing the age difference between couples
First and foremost, communication
The first thing to say about any couple is that it is necessary that dialogue prevails above all things, since it is one of the essential pillars of any human relationship. That is to say, it is important to talk about those situations that may alienate us, but also about what we still do not have a common point of view, to reach agreements that end up benefiting us without the need to end up in a fight or arguments.
Own intimacy
On the other hand, it is also important not to lose that individuality and personal moments in spite of wanting to share as much as possible with the other person. It is essential to have time for oneself, to think about what we want, and above all, what are the projects that keep us alive. When these spaces are annulled, we run the risk of not being able to share with others in a healthy and healthy way.
Finally, if in spite of the dialogue and having the individual spaces of each one, agreements are not reached and the fight is a constant; it is important to consider the possibility of starting a couple’s therapy.
According to the European University, there are different types of therapy, and to know which is the most appropriate, a conversation with the therapist should be held. There, the mental health professional could diagnose the implementation of a systemic therapy (which consists of the “dynamics and interactions between the members of the couple”) or a cognitive-behavioral therapy (which “focuses on analyzing the behaviors that are causing problems in the couple, providing them with new tools that allow them to resolve their conflicts”); a psychodynamic one (which is based on past events that may influence the relationship), or a humanistic one (which “aims to foster personal growth and self-realization of each partner, while strengthening the connection and intimacy in the relationship”).
Although an age difference of less than one year is scientifically proven to be good for couples to succeed, many others have lasted for years regardless of the age difference.
What is important is that dialogue, understanding, empathy and help is sought in the event that agreements are not reached that leave both parties satisfied. It is also essential that there is love, care and above all, a lot of empathy to understand and protect each other.