When most couples worry about their marriage, the focus usually falls on intimacy or communication breakdowns. Psychology suggests there’s another, often overlooked habit that can also impact long-term happiness.
According to relationship therapist Mary Jo Rapini, the act of cuddling may be one of the strongest predictors of a lasting marriage. Tender touch creates a kind of connection that words and even intimacy can’t always provide. In the following sections, we’ll cover why cuddling is so powerful for relationships and explore other habits that can keep love strong.
Why cuddling is an essential habit for couples
Besides comfort, cuddling activates touch and smell, which are powerful sensory pathways linked to memory and emotion. Being close to a partner helps release oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone”, which lowers stress, reduces blood pressure, and deepens feelings of love and security.
When couples stop touching, they often lose not only physical closeness but emotional connection as well. Small irritations grow, criticism increases, and intimacy suffers. On the other hand, consistent cuddling creates a safe space where both partners can relax, communicate softly, and feel accepted. Many couples find their best conversations happen in these quiet moments.
Research from the Kinsey Institute shows that tenderness and affection may even matter more to men than women in long-term relationships. Regular cuddling, caressing, and gentle touch contribute to greater satisfaction and closeness, especially as couples age. Far from being a “bonus”, it’s often a pillar that supports intimacy, trust, and patience in marriage.
For this habit, you don’t need a special setting or a lot of time. A hug on the sofa, lying together before sleep, or holding hands while watching a movie can all have the same effect. Over time, these small acts create a strong sense of partnership that helps couples carry through conflict and stress.
Other habits that keep couples connected
Beyond cuddling, experts point to several practices that consistently show up in long-lasting marriages:
- Expressing appreciation: Regularly acknowledging your partner’s efforts builds goodwill and prevents resentment. Even small thank-yous can make a difference.
- Listening without fixing: Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is listen without offering solutions. Feeling heard is one of the deepest human needs.
- Spending intentional time together: Shared activities—whether it’s cooking, walking, or planning a weekend project—help keep the partnership alive beyond daily responsibilities.
- Respecting space: Just as closeness matters, so does giving each other room. Healthy couples balance togetherness with independence.
- Managing conflict calmly: Disagreements are inevitable, but the way couples argue matters. Using a respectful tone and avoiding blame helps prevent damage.
Each of these habits reinforces the same message that cuddling delivers: you matter to me, and I want to stay connected. When combined, they create resilience, making it easier for couples to weather life’s challenges together.
Psychology makes it clear that a lasting marriage isn’t built on grand gestures but on daily choices. Cuddling may seem small, but its impact is profound. By adding this habit to your routine and pairing it with appreciation, quality time, and respectful communication, you set the foundation for a relationship that can last a lifetime.