On many occasions we can do more harm with what we say than with any other act. Therefore, it is vital that we know how to use language to do good. Psychology and scientists have wanted to investigate the phenomenon and have discovered something surprising.
According to a 2016 study in Cognitive Science, there is a way of approaching discussions with which it is possible to avoid confrontation. That is, it has been scientifically proven that people with higher emotional intelligence have an effective tactic to avoid problems.
Perhaps you already use it without knowing it, but just in case you should listen to the scientists and listen to their advice. With a little change of approach, you will learn some key phrases to stop almost any argument.
Here’s the phrase to stop arguments, according to a scientific study
Psychologists have shown that the way we use words can seriously affect the feelings and personality of those around us. Therefore, it is vital that we take care of every detail when we speak.
The author of the study, Amanda Ripley, has investigated the phrases most used by people with emotional intelligence to avoid any kind of conflict. Write them down if you consider that this is an aspect in which you can improve:
- “I’m very curious. How did you come to that conclusion?”.
- “It may be me who’s wrong, but…”.
- “I wonder if…”.
- “It’s very interesting what you’re saying because I see it differently.”
What is the key to avoid arguments, according to psychology?
Following the information in the study and if you look at the proposed phrases, the key that people with emotional intelligence use to avoid conflicts is a change of approach with respect to habitual behavior.
Instead of seeking to impose your ideas and approach every debate as a combat in which the only objective is to win, what you have to do is to face it as an opportunity for growth and collaboration.
In other words, when a confrontation arises, the focus should be on learning and cooperation. If we do this, we will draw much more positive conclusions.
Also, keep in mind that contrary to what many people think, changing your mind is a symbol of intelligence. Having the ability to assume that we are not right, to be flexible in our opinions and to enrich them as we learn more information is a characteristic symbol of great leaders.
Obviously, these tips will not protect you from all confrontations, since at least two people are involved in any discussion. But at least you will have done your part to make the conversation enriching.