{"id":28929,"date":"2026-07-11T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T17:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/?p=28929"},"modified":"2026-07-10T10:14:42","modified_gmt":"2026-07-10T15:14:42","slug":"william-faulkner-writer-you-dont-love-someone-for-their-virtues-but-in-spite-of-their-flaws-and-his-view-on-love-still-unsettles-couples-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/william-faulkner-writer-you-dont-love-someone-for-their-virtues-but-in-spite-of-their-flaws-and-his-view-on-love-still-unsettles-couples-today-28929\/","title":{"rendered":"William Faulkner, writer: &#8220;You don&#8217;t love someone for their virtues, but in spite of their flaws,&#8221; and his view on love still unsettles couples today"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou don\u2019t love because, you love despite, not for the virtues, but despite the faults.\u201d The line remains one of those literary sentences that feels simple at first, then starts to press on real life. It asks an uncomfortable question: do we love people as they are, or only as long as they match the version we imagined?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The phrase is often shared as romantic advice, but its force is broader than that. It challenges the polished idea of love that thrives in perfect photos, dating profiles, and carefully edited lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Faulkner\u2019s point is not that flaws are beautiful by themselves, it is that affection becomes more serious when it sees them clearly and does not run away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A sharper origin<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">William Faulkner was one of the major American writers of the twentieth century. The Nobel Prize records him as the 1949 laureate in literature and notes that he received the award one year later, in 1950, for his \u201cpowerful and artistically unique contribution\u201d to the modern American novel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-element-a00da4e5\">\n<div><div class=\"gb-looper-46613eed\">\n<div class=\"gb-loop-item gb-loop-item-a8390598 post-28819 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-nutrition resize-featured-image\">\n<h3 class=\"gb-text gb-text-24a51617\">Read More: <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/nutrition\/you-dont-need-to-spend-money-on-protein-your-kitchen-already-hides-a-super-protein-you-keep-overlooking-and-heres-where-its-waiting-28819\/\">You don&#8217;t need to spend money on protein, your kitchen already hides a &#8220;super protein&#8221; you keep overlooking, and here&#8217;s where it&#8217;s waiting<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The famous line is usually repeated as a statement about love between two people. Scholarly references, however, connect it to his 1954 essay \u201cMississippi,\u201d where the idea of loving \u201cdespite\u201d appears in a more complex reflection on place, memory, and moral conflict. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That makes the quote less sugary, and much more interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why it still feels modern<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The sentence pushes back against the fantasy that love is a reward for good qualities. Anyone can admire charm, intelligence, beauty, humor, or ambition. The harder part begins when fear, pride, bad habits, silence, or ordinary selfishness enters the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That does not mean tolerating cruelty. It does not mean excusing control, humiliation, or repeated disrespect. Read carefully\u2013the line points toward clear-eyed affection, not blind endurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The setting has changed since 1954. Pew Research Center reported in 2025 that half of U.S. adults use Instagram, and among adults ages 18 to 29, that share rises to 80%. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Those numbers do not prove that <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/psychology-suggests-that-for-many-teenagers-the-real-protective-factor-lies-not-so-much-in-turning-off-the-app-as-in-having-strong-friendships-outside-of-the-screen-because-the-quality-of-those-relati-25022\/\">social media<\/a> makes love shallow, but they do help explain why a quote about looking past the polished image still travels so easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Faulkner knew messy people<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Faulkner\u2019s fiction rarely treats human beings as clean heroes or villains. His characters are often wounded, stubborn, loving, bitter, funny, and difficult all at once. In other words, they sound a lot like people we actually know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Library of America describes \u201cAs I Lay Dying,\u201d published in 1930, as a mix of comedy, horror, and compassion built around the Bundren family and the death of Addie Bundren. That is not a neat love story, it is a portrait of <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/psychology-tells-us-that-listening-to-your-mother-tell-the-same-story-over-and-over-again-isnt-a-waste-of-time-but-rather-a-sign-of-connection-that-many-people-underestimate-27241\/\">family pressure<\/a>, grief, duty, resentment, and survival.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-element-88384644\">\n<div><div class=\"gb-looper-a161d682\">\n<div class=\"gb-loop-item gb-loop-item-7dd8bb92 post-28792 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-psychology resize-featured-image\">\n<h3 class=\"gb-text gb-text-ee842b72\">Read More: <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/science-says-if-you-survived-cancer-this-one-gentle-practice-could-finally-fix-your-sleep-and-quiet-your-anxiety-28792\/\">Science says if you survived cancer, this one gentle practice could finally fix your sleep and quiet your anxiety<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is where the quote gains weight. Love, in this view, is not a spotless room where nothing breaks. It is closer to a house people keep repairing while they still live inside it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What the line gets right<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Modern relationship research, to a large extent, points in a similar direction. The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gottman Institute<\/a> says many relationship problems never fully disappear because they grow out of personality differences between partners. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the day-to-day, lasting couples often learn to manage tensions rather than pretend they can erase every flaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1800\" height=\"1013\" src=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote.jpg\" alt=\"A vintage photograph of Nobel Prize-winning author William Faulkner, known for his complex and honest exploration of human relationships.\" class=\"wp-image-28931\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/william-faulkner-love-despite-faults-quote-150x84.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1800px) 100vw, 1800px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">William Faulkner\u2019s perspective on loving &#8220;despite&#8221; flaws challenges the modern tendency to curate relationships for social media appeal.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sounds less dramatic than movie love, but it may be closer to daily life. Someone apologizes, someone listens again. Someone learns that a partner\u2019s irritating habit is not the whole person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Still, there is an important limit. Accepting imperfection is not the same as accepting harm. The difference matters, especially for younger readers who may hear \u201clove despite faults\u201d and mistake it for \u201cstay no matter what.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A less perfect kind of love<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The quote lasts because it refuses to flatter us. It says the people we love are not symbols or trophies. They are tired voices after work, forgotten texts, old fears, bad moods, strange loyalties, and <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/psychology-suggests-that-people-who-send-a-simple-i-was-thinking-of-you-without-asking-for-anything-in-return-arent-just-being-kind-theyre-often-offering-on-27556\/\">sudden acts of tenderness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-element-f5cf4e71\">\n<div><div class=\"gb-looper-48ea8243\">\n<div class=\"gb-loop-item gb-loop-item-d58378a8 post-28937 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-nutrition resize-featured-image\">\n<h3 class=\"gb-text gb-text-f2cf6dd4\">Read More: <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/nutrition\/you-may-be-throwing-away-one-of-the-cheapest-sources-of-protein-and-fiber-in-your-kitchen-and-the-reason-to-add-it-daily-is-simpler-than-you-think-28937\/\">You may be throwing away one of the cheapest sources of protein and fiber in your kitchen, and the reason to add it daily is simpler than you think<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Can love survive once the illusion fades? Faulkner\u2019s answer suggests yes, but only when affection is joined with <a href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/the-psychological-reason-why-some-overly-nice-people-end-up-feeling-lonely-even-when-theyre-surrounded-by-people-27220\/\">honesty<\/a>. Real love does not need a perfect person in front of it, it needs a real one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The main work behind the quote has been published as Faulkner\u2019s 1954 essay <a href=\"https:\/\/gutenberg.ca\/ebooks\/faulknerw-mississippi\/faulknerw-mississippi-00-e.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Mississippi<\/em><\/a>, first in Holiday magazine and later reprinted in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.penguinrandomhouse.com\/books\/48384\/essays-speeches-and-public-letters-by-william-faulkner-edited-by-james-b-meriwether\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Essays, Speeches &amp; Public Letters<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t love because, you love despite, not for the virtues, but despite the faults.\u201d The line remains one of &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"William Faulkner, writer: &#8220;You don&#8217;t love someone for their virtues, but in spite of their flaws,&#8221; and his view on love still unsettles couples today\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/william-faulkner-writer-you-dont-love-someone-for-their-virtues-but-in-spite-of-their-flaws-and-his-view-on-love-still-unsettles-couples-today-28929\/#more-28929\" aria-label=\"Read more about William Faulkner, writer: &#8220;You don&#8217;t love someone for their virtues, but in spite of their flaws,&#8221; and his view on love still unsettles couples today\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":28930,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","resize-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28929"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28932,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28929\/revisions\/28932"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28930"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}