{"id":25067,"date":"2026-04-27T18:35:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-27T23:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/?p=25067"},"modified":"2026-04-27T12:06:36","modified_gmt":"2026-04-27T17:06:36","slug":"youre-in-charge-of-the-group-and-deep-down-youre-on-high-alert-a-spanish-psychologist-goes-viral-on-tiktok-with-3-traits-that-mask-anxie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/okdiario.com\/metabolic\/en\/psychology\/youre-in-charge-of-the-group-and-deep-down-youre-on-high-alert-a-spanish-psychologist-goes-viral-on-tiktok-with-3-traits-that-mask-anxie-25067\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cYou\u2019re in charge of the group\u201d\u2026 and, deep down, you\u2019re on high alert: a Spanish psychologist goes viral on TikTok with \u201c3 traits\u201d that mask anxiety\u2026 and the first one (being too hard on yourself) affects more people than you might imagine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Have you ever been called \u201cthe responsible one\u201d and still felt keyed up inside? In a recent social media video, Spanish psychologist \u00c1ngela Fern\u00e1ndez<\/a> says anxiety can hide<\/a> behind three personality tendencies including high self-demanding, \u201ctoo much kindness,\u201d and high emotional sensitivity. She also stresses that it is not true in every case, and that \u201cknowing ourselves is key\u201d so we can regulate emotions \u201cwithout getting frustrated or pushing ourselves too hard\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anxiety is also extremely common, especially among younger people who are juggling school, friendships<\/a>, and family stress. The National Institute of Mental Health<\/a> estimates that about 19.1 percent of US adults had an anxiety disorder in the past year, and about 31.9 percent of US adolescents have experienced one at some point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When anxiety wears a friendly mask<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Anxiety is not just the obvious stuff like panic, racing thoughts, or not sleeping. It can also look like constant over-preparing, always being \u201con,\u201d or feeling responsible for everyone else\u2019s mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Read More: Psychology suggests that people do not adopt an office habit, a way of greeting others, or a group norm simply because they have seen it once or because they have rationally decided to do so; they tend to explore different options until a pattern seems stable enough for them to stop hesitating and start following it<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

A US government mental health guide notes that anxiety disorders<\/a> go beyond normal worry, and they can start to interfere with everyday life over time. In practical terms, that can mean grades, part-time jobs, and relationships take a hit<\/a> even when everything looks \u201cfine\u201d from the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The weight of high self-demanding<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The first trait she highlights is intense self-demanding, the kind that turns responsibility into pressure. It often shows up as perfectionism, with a strong need to do things \u201cright\u201d and a fear of falling short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In real life, that can look like rereading the same assignment five times, double-checking every message before you send it, or feeling like one mistake ruins the whole day. It is not laziness or drama, it is the brain trying to stay in control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her suggested fix is not lowering your standards to zero. It is practicing flexibility, making room for mistakes, and letting \u201cgood enough\u201d count sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When kindness turns into pressure<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The second pattern is being overly kind, the kind of kindness<\/a> that comes with guilt when you say no. These are the people who agree to one more favor, one more group project task, or one more late-night call, even when they are already wiped out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Read More: Psychology suggests that, for many teenagers, the real protective factor lies not so much in turning off the app as in having strong friendships outside of the screen, because the quality of those relationships seems to matter more for their well-being than the exact number of hours spent using it<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Cleveland Clinic describes a people-pleaser<\/a> as someone who goes out of their way to make others happy at the expense of their own well-being. Clinical psychologist Adam Borland warns that they can \u201cgive and give and give to the point of their own detriment,\u201d which can slowly build stress and resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The video\u2019s takeaway is that limits are not selfish, they are protective. The goal is to stay kind without letting kindness become a nonstop obligation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

High emotional sensitivity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The third trait she names is neuroticism<\/a>, a psychology term that roughly means a stronger tendency toward negative emotions and stress reactions. Britannica notes that people high on this dimension are more prone to emotions like anxiety, anger, guilt, and feeling generally uncomfortable in many situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where everyday bumps can feel huge. A small argument, a weird look from a teacher, or a short reply in a group chat can keep your nervous system buzzing for hours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of treating sensitivity as a flaw, the idea is to build in more recovery. Simple routines that calm the body can make emotional swings less intense for many people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What research says about the traits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Researchers have been studying how perfectionism connects to anxiety for decades, and the overall picture is fairly consistent. A 2024 review and meta-analysis<\/a>, meaning researchers combined results from many studies, pooled data from 416 studies covering more than 113,000 participants. It found that the \u201cworry\u201d side of perfectionism had a moderate link with anxiety symptoms in many groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Read More: Most people don\u2019t realize that the apparent \u201cdisinterest\u201d of many older adults isn\u2019t always apathy or indifference; it\u2019s often a more selective approach to life, in which time is valued more highly and pointless arguments no longer seem like a worthwhile investment<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Neuroticism also shows up repeatedly in the scientific literature as a vulnerability factor for mental health problems that include anxiety. A chapter from Cambridge University Press<\/a> on personality traits and mental disorders highlights that, on average, higher neuroticism is tied to higher risk over time, even though it does not decide anyone\u2019s future by itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The gray area matters here. Personality traits are not diagnoses, and they do not explain every case, but they can shape how stress builds up and how long it sticks around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Flexibility, boundaries, and calmer routines<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For many people, the practical goal is to keep strengths without letting them take over. That can mean turning \u201cI must do everything perfectly\u201d into \u201cI will do my best, then move on,\u201d or turning \u201cI have to help\u201d into \u201cI can help when I have the capacity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundary-setting is a skill, not a personality flaw, and it usually starts with noticing what drains you. In one guide about healthy limits<\/a>, Salerno put it plainly and wrote, \u201cBoundaries start with self-awareness,\u201d because you have to know what you need before you can ask for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When anxiety is persistent or disruptive, evidence-based therapy can help build these skills in a structured way. In a 2024 press release, researchers at the National Institutes of Health<\/a> reported that cognitive behavioral therapy, a structured talk therapy that helps people change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, improved symptoms in children with anxiety disorders. Senior author Melissa Brotman said, \u201cWe know that CBT is effective\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A reminder about diagnosis<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It is tempting to read a list of traits and instantly label yourself or someone else. But anxiety disorders are medical conditions, and a short video is not a test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Read More: Psychology suggests that turning 60 doesn\u2019t mean a person\u2019s personality is set in stone; with the right practice, some older adults can become more composed under pressure and more open in social situations than they ever imagined<\/a><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

If anxiety is getting in the way of sleep, school, relationships, or just feeling okay day to day, that is a good reason to talk with a qualified mental health professional. The main video discussed in this article has been published on TikTok. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The main study was published in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy on Taylor & Francis Online<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been called \u201cthe responsible one\u201d and still felt keyed up inside? In a recent social media video, … <\/p>\n

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